Writerland » writing moms http://meghanward.com/blog Reading, Writing, and Publishing Thu, 09 Feb 2012 08:27:24 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.2 Momming and Writing http://meghanward.com/blog/2011/01/04/momming-and-writing/ http://meghanward.com/blog/2011/01/04/momming-and-writing/#comments Tue, 04 Jan 2011 07:53:35 +0000 Meghan Ward http://meghanward.com/blog/?p=1894 If you’re like me and you’re trying to do it all, you may find yourself sneaking into the corner of the kitchen to scarf down a chocolate chip cookie or sip a glass of wine now and then to keep your energy up and your sanity intact. That “all” may include picking up toys and [...]]]> If you’re like me and you’re trying to do it all, you may find yourself sneaking into the corner of the kitchen to scarf down a chocolate chip cookie or sip a glass of wine now and then to keep your energy up and your sanity intact. That “all” may include picking up toys and books and clothes off the floor for the eighteenth time this week, doing your fifth load of laundry this morning, or washing your sixty-five sink full of dishes this month. Or it may mean staying up past midnight to write your weekly blog post, to finish the revision on those chapters the agent is waiting for, or to finish up a freelance job that is paying the bills—even though you know you’ll be back up again at six a.m.

With New Year’s Resolutions dancing like sugarlessplums in our heads, where do we begin? How do we prioritize? Which of the following goals should we focus on first?:

-Finish book
-Get agent
-Sell book
-Start blog
-Blog 3x a week
-Get more blog followers
-Get more Twitter followers
-Tweet more
-Design/Redesign website
-Exercise more
-Read more
-Make more money
-Spend less money
-Spend more time with kids
-Remind spouses/partners of our first names

My advice is to:

1. Be realistic. Don’t try to do it all. You can’t. If you have two little kids like I do, you CANNOT blog as often as other people do. Or exercise as often. Or volunteer as often at the local homeless shelter. You just can’t. Not if you want to get any writing done. And take a shower now and then. Blog once a week. Anne R. Allendoes it, and it isn’t hurting her blog following. Exercise a couple times a week. Quit the volunteer job (for now).

2. Prioritize. Take out a piece of paper and divide it into three columns. Label those columns: Must Do, Would Like To Do, and Probably Won’t Do. Then divide everything on your To Do list into one of those three columns. For example:

Must Do
Write one hour every day
Make enough money to pay the bills

Would Like To Do
Blog 1x per week
Exercise 2x per week

Will Probably Not Do Any Time Soon
Learn to Sew
Re-landscape the yard
Study Italian

Now schedule the items in the first column into your day. Commit yourself fully to them. If you have extra time, schedule the second column in, too. If not, do those things when you have some free time. But don’t stress about them. They’re not your priority. As for the third column, put them out of your mind. They’ve been crossed off your To Do list, at least for the near future.

3. Carve out your writing time. Find a time and a place to write that works for you, and stick with it. That may mean writing in 15-minute increments on breaks while at work. It may mean writing from 5 to 7 a.m. before the kids wake up or 8-10 p.m., after they go to sleep. It may mean hiring a babysitter one or two days a week in order to write in an office, a library, or a cafe. It may mean ditching the kids with dad for a few days now and then and heading off to a writers’ retreat or conference (that’s what I do!) Try different things and see what works for you. Then stick with it.

4. Balance, balance, balance. Write as often as you can. Make that your priority over blogging, watching TV, and surfing the Net. But take time to nurture your creative soul, too, or your writing will become dry. That may mean going for a run, reading some poetry, taking a hike in the woods, visiting an art museum, lying in a hot bath surrounded by candles, or spending a couple hours drinking tea with a friend. Give yourself a break now and then. All work and no play makes Blogger Betty a dull and unhappy writer.

5. Remember to have fun! You’re doing this—writing, blogging, parenting—because you chose to, because you WANT to. If it’s becoming a grind, if you’re overtired and burnt out and you hate your book and your blog and everyone who demands anything of you, then take a break. Tell your blog readers you’re going on sabbatical and step away from it all for a few weeks. Don’t worry, the rat race will still be here when you get back. And you’ll return with a renewed vigor that will infect your readers. Happy bloggers are successful bloggers.

What about you? Do you have kids? How do you balance parenting with writing and blogging? When/how often/for how long do you write each week? Do you blog each week? How do you “do it all”?

]]> http://meghanward.com/blog/2011/01/04/momming-and-writing/feed/ 9 A Day in the Life http://meghanward.com/blog/2010/03/08/a-day-in-the-life/ http://meghanward.com/blog/2010/03/08/a-day-in-the-life/#comments Mon, 08 Mar 2010 17:00:35 +0000 Meghan Ward http://meghanward.com/blog/?p=692 During my author interview with Alicia Dunams, I asked her to describe her typical day. I found it so fascinating to get a glimpse into a fellow writer’s personal life that I decided to share mine, too, and I encourage everyone else to do the same (in comments or on your own blog).

Tuesdays, Thursdays, [...]]]> During my author interview with Alicia Dunams, I asked her to describe her typical day. I found it so fascinating to get a glimpse into a fellow writer’s personal life that I decided to share mine, too, and I encourage everyone else to do the same (in comments or on your own blog).

Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, I wake up when one of the kids starts crying or calling me (my son is 2 and my daughter is 6 mos) around 7 a.m. Soon they’re both up and I change them and start breakfast. Breakfast takes forever because I have to breast feed my baby, then make cereal with fruit, or eggs and fruit and toast, for my son (who then wants some yoghurt, then more yoghurt, then no, not more yoghurt, more cereal, no not THAT cereal, the other one, and then some milk, no not milk, WATER, and on and on). By the time both kids are changed, dressed, and fed, and I’ve eaten breakfast myself, it’s time for my daughter to take her first nap. I do dishes, maybe start laundry, check e-mail, get the mail, or half a dozen other things while she sleeps if we don’t have plans. Other days we have plans to meet friends at a play museum or the zoo or a park, so we head out straight after breakfast. “Heading out” takes about an hour (not including my shower, which I try to take while my daughter is napping and my son is “playing toys.”) Leaving the house means packing the diaper bag: diapers, wipes, and extra clothes for two kids, snacks, water bottles, wallet, phone, etc. Then the double stroller, then jackets and hats and blankets and toys—everything into the car. Then the kids into the car, then me. Then wait, I forgot my … hat/phone/glasses/umbrella/camera/water bottle, you name it, so back into the house at least once and then we’re off. No we’re not. I also forgot my … hat/phone/glasses/umbrella/camera/water bottle. And now we’re off.

We come back around 12:30 or 1 for lunch, then my son goes down for a nap. My daughter always falls asleep in the car, so just as my son goes down for a nap, she wakes up starving and screaming. I change her and breast feed her, and now she’s eating solids. So I make her cereal and her fruit, all the while she is screaming because she’s hungry, then feed her, which means 1/3 goes in her mouth, 1/3 on her face, and the other third on her bib and chair. That’s if she doesn’t sneeze. Because she has a cold. The one my son passed on to her. When she sneezes, she sprays cereal and prunes all over the floor, the table, the wall, in my son’s hair if he happens to be standing nearby. I finally eat my own lunch around 2 or 3, just before I pass out from exhaustion and starvation, then try to sit for 10 minutes and check e-mail. Then change the laundry, do more dishes, and put my daughter down for her second nap, just as my son is waking up. I get him up, change him, and we’re off for the afternoon. Repeat above (restock diaper bag, etc.) Or we stay in and “play toys,” read books, etc. If I’m really exhausted and desperate to get something done, like pay bills, I let my son watch Thomas the Train for half an hour.

Soon, dinner. Either I cook or I call my husband and ask him to pick up groceries. Then baths, then I feed my daughter (repeat above) and put her to bed before he gets home. Then he comes home and cooks (often) while I put my son to bed (feed him, change him, put his PJs on, read stories, brush teeth, arrange dogs and bear and water bottle just so in crib, etc.) By the time they’re both in bed and we’re sitting down to eat, it’s 8:30. By the time we finish eating and do the dishes, it’s 9:30, and all I can think about is bed. Some nights I go to sleep early. Some nights I read. Some nights I work on my book. Tuesday night I watch Lost. Most nights I do I don’t know what (laundry, return e-mails, balance accounts, talk to husband) and it’s midnight before I know it and I need to pump (breast milk) and go to bed.

Mondays and Wednesdays, we have a babysitter. I get up, feed and change the kids, eat breakfast and put my running clothes on. My husband and I run from about 9 to 10, then he goes to work and I take a shower and pack to leave for the city, where I write. I get there much later than I’d like to, around noon, buying my lunch on the way. Once I get there, I unpack, pump, eat my lunch, and get to work around 1. I work until 5, breaking to pump once more around 3, and then head home to arrive at 6 (I also work on the train for about 25 mins each way). I “play toys” or give my son a bath and read stories, figure out a plan for dinner, and repeat above.

Weekends: Saturday morning we take the kids to swimming class, go out to brunch, and then I do a longer run (8-10 miles) while my husband watches the kids. We figure out something to do for the afternoon/evening (an outing, a family dinner, a birthday party, etc.), and I usually fall asleep early because I’m exhausted from the run. Sunday we do another outing, or I get my husband to watch the kids for a few hours while I write.

Nights that I have insomnia (like tonight, I think I ate too much dark chocolate after dinner), I stay up and read or blog, knowing that I’m going to be exhausted the next day. Other nights I go to bed early, wishing I’d gotten more done.

And that’s my life. What about you? What is your “day in the life” like?

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